Assumptions & a hamster

After hitting the application submission button for three of my schools last week, I strangely wasn’t relieved. I just felt tired. And the stress that culminated from the words of personal statements, supplements, and "writing your entire life out" didn’t lift from my shoulders, but rather slowly leaked out through a broken pipe. 

I have this bad habit of telling myself I can’t fully dedicate an hour to socialize when I have a lot of work on my plate. I realized that for over two weeks leading up to November 15th, I hadn’t had a real conversation(except texting) with any of my friends.

Assumption: I must be the only one feeling lonely and a bit regretful of not calling a friend.

Decision: Should I facetime a friend? Yes, yes I will. 

So I called her and we just talked about random things. Things like the desserts we would like to make during Thanksgiving break, buzzfeed quizzes we should take, and the weird coincidence of Youtube recommending both of us to watch figure skating and ballet videos online. The break from school and homework was peaceful and relaxing.

I told her, “I feel lonely and haven’t really been talking to anyone.”

She nodded her head and said, “Same, haha I think everyone feels that way at certain points. Especially with covid going on and no school.

I realized that everybody feels isolated at times, and I shouldn’t put myself down for it. 

If anything, I should connect more with people rather than creating situations in my own head. Assumptions often muddle our brains and make us feel even more alone. Taking action or just talking to people is a better way to conquer the exaggerated feelings that reside in our mind and amplify to an unnecessary degree. Sharing what you feel is a way to decompress for yourself, but also a way to prompt better discussions with people.

Isn't that what we all need at this time?